We can control only one thing in this life. That’s how we respond to outside stimulus.
We have a choice every time we are confronted with something that challenges us. Our response demonstrates who we truly are.
Most of us live this life in quiet obscurity, the choices we make are largely ignored by the world. Some rise to a level where our actions are noticed by a larger circle of people. Either by blogging or working as a teacher, a pastor or a local politician our actions and responses are taken on board by more people. And we get judged for them.
Sometimes rightly so.
Then there are the most visible. National Presidents, the “mega-pastors” like Jesse Duplantis, Andrew Wommack, Paula White and so on. Their actions, lack of action and other responses get the attention of millions. Their endorsement (or lack of it) for a particular candidate can sway tens of thousands of people.
But whatever their impact, as individuals they face the same issues we all face: whether we allow events to make us bitter, or use them to improve things.
Getting bitter is decidedly not what God has in mind for us. I wrote recently about trying to leave my comfort zone. For over a decade I sat blaming everyone else for not getting things moving even as far as writing this blog. It was frustrating, but eventually I met someone who became my closest friend. She managed to get me to realise that what stopped me was not what anyone else said or did. It was my response of choice – at that point generally letting myself get bitter about denied opportunity – that was the real issue.
By the time I met Thuli, I’d already started the blog. It was great to get the affirmation though. I needed the encouragement as I struggle to follow through sometimes. I still do.
Procrastination is “comfortable” when there’s no specific deadline. But eventually, not accomplishing what I feel God has called me to leaves me disgruntled. Then I look around and I can either get bitter or better from the experience.
I still choose “bitter” more often than I’d like to admit.
I’ve been invited to go overseas several times in the last year to preach. Finance is always an issue for me with these things. Travel is expensive, and it’s hard enough to cover our daily costs without adding an extra trip to it. But then I keep looking for where I can find funding and I get increasingly bitter that the sources dry up like a mirage when I step towards them.
So I try to look at what I can do to generate the funding this ministry needs, within the confines of the law, to get me to Kenya, India and all the other places that have invited the ministry to visit.
Without getting bitter about not being able to just jump on a plane and go.
It’s not easy.
This going through “The Dream Giver” season of entries here was inspired by wanting to open the doors into what God has for me as an individual, and this ministry as a vehicle.
So I keep trying to step forward. It’s not easy because I’m a little stubborn.
But we all can be like that.
I’m just trying not to be for once. I’m trying to be accountable to myself for my actions – because doing nothing is in itself an action.
But it’s worth it.